Wedding Speech Templates for Every Role (Fill in the Blanks)

The short version: every wedding speech has the same shape, and the templates below give it to you for each role, with blanks where your own memories go. The one rule that keeps a template from sounding like a template is that every blank gets a specific, true detail, never a general one. "She's kind and funny" is a template. "She walked a stranger's grandmother three blocks to the right bus stop when she was twelve" is a speech.

A template is a scaffold. It holds the shape up while you build the real thing inside it, and then it comes down. The reason a templated wedding speech sounds hollow is usually that the speaker filled the blanks with the kind of words the template already had: loyal, kind, always there for his friends, perfect for each other. The room can hear it. So the instruction on every blank below is the same: put something there that could only be true of this person.

The shape every speech shares

Four minutes for the best man and maid of honor, three to four for parents, two to three for the couple. For word counts and how to time a draft, see how long a wedding speech should be.

Best man template

Good evening, everyone. I'm [your name], and I've known [groom] since [a specific moment: where you met, what happened, something slightly funny].

I want to tell you one story about [groom], because I think it explains him.

[The story. Where you were, what happened, what he did. Three or four short paragraphs. It must end with him looking good: something he did for someone, or the way he handled something going wrong. Not the bachelor party. Not an ex. Not drinking.]

That's [groom]. [One sentence that says what the story shows: the quality it reveals, in plain words.]

And then he met [partner]. [One concrete thing you noticed change. Something he started doing, stopped doing, or said. Not "he seemed happier." Something you could see.]

[Partner], [one or two sentences spoken directly to them: what you have seen them do for him, what they have brought out in him]. Thank you for that. [One warm line that says they are part of this now.]

Everyone, please stand and raise your glasses. To [groom] and [partner]. [One short wish, ideally echoing the story.]

Full worked examples, the tests for choosing the story, and the delivery notes are in the best man speech guide. For the first line, funny best man openers has twenty that work.

Maid of honor template

Hi, everyone. I'm [your name], and [bride] and I [how you met or how you are related, with one specific detail that makes it yours].

I could tell you a hundred stories about [bride]. I'm going to tell you one.

[The story. One moment that shows who she is, told with detail: where you were, what she said, what she did. It should still describe her today. Three or four short paragraphs.]

That's [bride]. [One sentence: the quality the story reveals.]

So I paid attention when she started talking about [partner]. [What was different about how she talked about them, or one thing she started doing. Specific.]

[Partner], [what you have seen them do for her, specifically]. [One sentence that says you are glad it is them.] Thank you.

Please stand with me and raise your glasses. To [bride] and [partner]. [One short wish, echoing the story if it can.]

Five complete examples for different relationships are in maid of honor speech examples, and there is a version for sisters.

Father or mother of the bride template

Good evening, everyone. I'm [your name], [bride]'s [father or mother]. On behalf of [spouse, if applicable] and me, welcome, and thank you for being here. [One sentence of thanks: the people who traveled, or the one or two people who made the day happen. Not a list.]

I want to tell you one thing about [bride].

[The memory. One moment from her childhood or since that still describes her. Where you were, what she did, what you thought. Two or three short paragraphs.]

That's [bride]. She grew up into exactly the person [the memory suggested]. [One sentence of what you think of her, plainly. Fathers and mothers do not say this often. Say it now.]

[Partner], [one specific thing you have seen them do: the first visit, something they did for her, a moment you noticed]. [One sentence: what they have brought to her life.] You're family now, and we're glad of it.

Please stand and raise your glasses. To [bride] and [partner]. [One short wish.]

The father of the bride guide and the mother of the bride guide each have two complete examples and notes for families that are not simple.

Groom or couple template

On behalf of my [wife or husband] and me, and I'm going to need a minute to get used to saying that, thank you all for being here. [One sentence for anyone who traveled.]

To my parents, [names]. Thank you for [one specific thing, not "everything"]. And to [partner]'s parents, [names]. Thank you for [one specific thing: the first dinner, the way you welcomed me].

To the wedding party, thank you for [one line]. [Best man or maid of honor], [one line to them].

[Partner]. [One small, true, specific thing about them: something they do, something they said, something that changed in you because of them. Two or three sentences. This is the heart of the speech.]

So please raise your glasses. To [partner]. [One short wish.]

The groom speech guide has a full groom example and a version for a couple speaking together.

Short toast template, for anyone

For the rehearsal dinner, a small reception, or a fifth speaker who has been asked to keep it brief:

I'm [your name], [how you know them]. [One true thing you have seen about the couple, in one or two sentences. Specific.] Everyone, please raise a glass. To [name] and [name].

Under a minute. The rehearsal dinner toast guide has examples.

How to fill the blanks so it sounds like you

1. Write the story first, before anything else. It is the part the template cannot help with, and the rest of the speech is built around it. Choose it with the two tests: does it end with them looking good, and would their mother laugh?
2. Replace every general word. Go through the draft and find each place you wrote loyal, kind, funny, always there, perfect together, best friend. Replace each one with the specific thing that made you think it.
3. Read it out loud, standing, with a timer. If a sentence does not sound like something you would say at a bar, change it until it does.
4. Cut a fifth. Whatever the timer says, take out twenty percent. Templates run long because they invite you to fill every blank fully.
5. Get an honest read. From a friend who knows the couple and is not in the wedding party, or from the free speech check, which reads a draft from the back of the room and says what lands and what does not. The Room does the same with six wedding guests, line by line.

What a template cannot do

It cannot pick the story, and the story is the speech. It cannot tell you which line to slow down for, or which joke the room has heard. It cannot make the partner section sincere, because that requires having watched the two of them. Everything above is scaffolding. The building is yours.

If the blank page is the problem rather than the shape, the first-draft builder asks six questions about the couple and writes a draft in your own words, which is a template with the blanks already filled by you.