Wedding vows
Write vows that sound like you.
Good vows are short, said to one person, and full of things only the two of you would recognize. Here’s how to write them, with a free writer that starts from your own stories and a check that never sends your words anywhere.
- Blank pageWrite my vowsAnswer a few questions about your partner and get a first draft built from your answers.Start writing →
- Have a draftCheck my vowsTiming, promises and the lines every couple uses. Runs in your browser; nothing is sent.Check them →
- See some first8 example vowsFunny, heartfelt, short, second marriages and more, each with why it works.Read examples →
The shape of good vows
Nearly every set of vows that lands has the same four parts, in this order:
- The open. Say their name, then go straight to one real moment: how it started, or when you knew. Skip “I stand before you today.” Everyone can see that.
- Who they are. One thing they do that nobody else sees. A habit, a kindness, something small. Small is what makes it believable.
- The promises. Three to six. Most should be everyday and specific (“I’ll let you have the window seat, even on short flights”), with one or two big ones. Vary how they start so it doesn’t sound like a list.
- The close. Come back to a detail from the open, then one plain last line to them.
How long should vows be?
One to two minutes, said slowly, which is about 120 to 240 words. Vows are said standing up, close to someone, often through tears, so they run slower than a speech. If you’re both writing them, agree on a rough length. Nobody wants a thirty-second set answered by a four-minute one.
What to promise
The promises people remember are the small ones, because they prove you’ve been paying attention. “I promise to love you forever” is true, and so is everyone else’s. “I promise to stop pretending I know where we’re going” is yours. Keep one big promise for the end, where it has the most weight.
What to leave out
- Exes, even kindly. It’s the line that gets repeated later.
- Inside jokes the room can’t follow. One is fine if it’s clear from context; three is a private conversation.
- Roasting. Save the teasing for the reception speeches. Vows are the one place everyone is on your side.
- Anything your partner would be hurt to hear in front of their grandmother.
- Stock lines: soulmate, my rock, partner in crime, the rest of my life. The vows check finds them.
Saying them
Print them on a card in large type, or in a small vow book. Not your phone. Read them out loud at least five times before the day, slower each time, and give a copy to your officiant in case your hands shake. The practice timer and teleprompter helps you find the pace.
Example vows
Questions
How long should wedding vows be?
One to two minutes, said slowly. That's roughly 120 to 240 words. Under a minute is fine if every line is specific. Past two minutes, guests start shifting and you start running out of breath. If you're both writing vows, agree on a rough length so one set doesn't dwarf the other.
Do we both have to write our own vows?
No. Some couples write their own, some use traditional vows, some do both. If only one of you wants to write them, say so early, and the other can say a short traditional set. Talk to your officiant about where they go in the ceremony.
Should wedding vows be funny?
A light moment or two is good, especially early, because it settles everyone, you included. Keep the ending sincere. The last promise and the last line are the ones people remember.
Is it okay to use AI to write wedding vows?
Yes, as long as the stories and promises are yours. The vow writer here only works from your own answers and leaves a blank where it needs a detail you didn't give. Read the draft out loud and change anything that doesn't sound like you.
Do you keep my vows?
The vows check runs entirely in your browser, so the text never reaches us. If you use the vow writer, your answers and the draft are kept for seven days on an unlisted link, then deleted.
Giving a speech at the reception too? The free speech check and the wedding speech examples are the place to start.