Famous Movie Wedding Speeches, Graded

The scene. Tim asks his dad to be his best man. The speech is short: a dry promise to list his son's failings later, a sudden turn into saying plainly how much he loves him, a line about being proud to be his father, and one piece of advice that everyone in the room will remember.

What lands. It sets up a joke and then refuses to tell it, which is funnier than telling it. The sincere part is plain and specific, and the advice is one sentence, not a lecture. It is over before anyone looks at a phone.

What misses. It is mostly about father and son, and Mary gets less of it than she should. A line spoken to her directly would have made it close to perfect.

The scene. Charles, who nearly missed the ceremony, apologizes for pulling everyone away from dessert and opens by admitting that the last couple he was best man for are now divorced, though he is assured it had nothing to do with him. Then he says, with real feeling, that he is in awe of anyone who can make this kind of commitment, because he isn't sure he could.

What lands. The self-deprecating open buys the room's goodwill in one line. The sincere turn about commitment is honest and a little vulnerable, which is exactly what keeps a funny speech from feeling glib.

What misses. The best part of it is about Charles, not Angus and Laura. A specific story about the groom would have earned the awe he expresses.

The scene. After spending the film trying to break the couple up, Jules stands at the reception and gives a short, gracious toast. She describes a strange dream in which someone was trying to come between them, says she woke up to find the world as it should be, and toasts her best friend for winning the best woman. Then she gives them her song until they find their own.

What lands. It is short, generous, and speaks to both of them. The dream line is a confession the room hears as a joke, which is a nice piece of writing. Giving away the song is a gift, not a speech, and it is the warmest moment of the night.

What misses. The dream line only fully lands for the two people who know what it means. At a real wedding that is close to an inside joke.

The scene. At the rehearsal dinner, after Michael has already tried his stand-up act on the room, Jim stands to toast Pam. He tells the story of a crush on a coworker who had a boyfriend, and how he was waiting, without knowing it, for his wife. Then a throwaway line about why Pam isn't drinking tells her grandmother that Pam is pregnant.

What lands. The turn is perfect: one specific detail, the years of waiting, and a closing line that reframes the whole story. It is sincere without being long, and it is about her.

What misses. One careless clause announced news that was not his alone to announce, to the one person it was being kept from. A great speech, remembered for the wrong line.

The scene. Before her toast, Claire shows John her notes, which open on a dig at her sister. He tells her the funny-because-it's-true move only works when the truth is small, and to say something from the heart. She does, and her toast borrows a line about true love that he admits he got from a bumper sticker.

What lands. The edit is exactly right. Cutting a joke that makes the bride look bad is the most common fix a speech needs, and the warmth she replaces it with is what the room wanted.

What misses. The line she leans on is borrowed, and not even from a book. A true sentence about her sister would have beaten a lovely sentence about love in general.

The scene. Asked to be the best woman at her lifelong friend Alex's wedding, Rosie gives a speech that mixes a story about the night he decided tequila was the way to celebrate her eighteenth birthday with a heartfelt description of what his friendship has meant to her, ending with a promise to always love him as a friend.

What lands. The feeling is real and specific, and the friendship clearly made him look good. The room can tell she means every word.

What misses. It is a speech about Rosie and Alex, given at Alex and Bethany's wedding. The bride barely exists in it, and a drinking story is not the memory to lead with in front of his new in-laws.

The scene. The officiant opens a slow, grand, entirely general address on marriage, delivered with a memorable speech impediment, until the impatient prince orders him to skip to the end.

What lands. Everyone remembers it, which is more than most wedding speeches can say. And it is accidentally the most efficient ceremony in film history.

What misses. It is about marriage in general, not about the two people getting married. The room's real feeling is voiced by the prince: get to the point.

The scene. Annie gives a short toast. Helen takes the microphone to say more. Annie takes it back to prove she is the real best friend. Helen answers with a saying from Thailand, Annie with a foreign saying of her own, and the microphone keeps changing hands while the room watches two people compete for the bride.

What lands. Annie's first toast was fine. Short is not the problem here.

What misses. Each toast is about the speaker's place in Lillian's life, and none of them is about Lillian and Dougie. The arms race turns a celebration into a contest the guests are forced to judge.

The scene. A nervous Sydney starts well, calling Peter one of the most honest and kind people he knows, then swerves into a crude piece of advice to Zooey about returning the favor. At the wedding itself, Peter sprints across the room to stop him before he can toast again.

What lands. The first sentence is a genuinely good compliment, specific enough to be believed.

What misses. One crude line undid it, in front of both families. The groom's reaction at the wedding is the review.

The scene. At the dinner before the wedding, the bride's father raises a glass and compares his future son-in-law, Stu, to plain soft rice, the bland kind fed to people who can't manage anything else.

What lands. It is memorable, and it is honest about how he feels. Neither is a compliment here.

What misses. A roast with no turn is just an insult with a glass in its hand. Everyone in the room heard a father telling his daughter's fiance he is not good enough.

The scene. Alan, who has prepared, reads out facts about Thailand from a stack of cards: the population, how its size compares to Wyoming, its chief exports, and onward, until Doug gently suggests he skip to the last card.

What lands. He did prepare, and he is sincere. That is the full list.

What misses. Research is not material. None of it is about the couple, and a stack of cards announces from the first line that this will take a while.

The scene. The groom's brother takes the stage very drunk and gives a toast so bitter that the room goes cold, then tries to follow it with a song. Robbie, the wedding singer, steps in, takes the microphone, and rescues the night.

What lands. Robbie's rescue, which is the only reason anyone remembers this wedding fondly.

What misses. Everything. A best man who is drunk and bitter has nothing to say that the couple will want to hear.

The scene. Home from rehab for her sister's wedding, Kym stands at the rehearsal dinner and spends several minutes on her addiction and her recovery program, then announces she is making amends to her sister for, more or less, everything. The night ends in an argument.

What lands. It is honest, and you can feel how much she wants to be forgiven.

What misses. The rehearsal dinner is for the couple. A toast that is about the speaker's struggle, however real, asks the room to look away from the bride on her own weekend.

The scene. Asked to make a slideshow for her sister's engagement party, and to read a speech her sister wrote word for word, Jane does both, pairing each glowing sentence with a photo that proves it is a lie. The engagement does not survive the evening.

What lands. As revenge, it is very well constructed. As a toast, it is the opposite of one.

What misses. A speech should never be the place a sibling settles a score in front of everyone, whatever the score is.