ToastDoctor

For planners, venues and couples

A speech tips card for everyone holding the mic.

One page: how long each speech should run, the shape that works, what to skip, and the day itself, with a box for each speaker’s spot in the running order. Add your business name, print it or save it as a PDF, and hand it to your couples to pass along. Free.

One letter-size page. Choose “Save as PDF” to email it to your couples.

For everyone giving a speech

Wedding speech tips

How long

Best man, maid of honor3 to 5 min
Father of the bride3 to 4 min
Mother of the bride, groom's parents2½ to 4 min
The couple2 to 3 min
Anyone else1½ to 3 min

About 130 words a minute out loud. All the speeches together: under 20 minutes.

The shape

  1. 1. Who you are. One sentence. Half the room has never met you.
  2. 2. One story. Not three. Where you were, what happened, what it shows.
  3. 3. What changed. What's different since their partner came along.
  4. 4. To the partner. Turn to them. Their name and a real welcome.
  5. 5. The toast. Both names, glasses up, then sit down.

Skip

  • Inside jokes that need a backstory
  • Exes, the bachelor or bachelorette party, drinking stories
  • “For those who don’t know me” and “I’ll keep this short”
  • Reading from your phone

On the day

  • Know your first line by heart. The rest can come off a card.
  • Print it in large type, or use cards. Bring them in your pocket.
  • Hold the mic a fist’s width from your chin, even when you turn.
  • One drink before is fine. Three is not.
  • Find the couple, breathe out, and go slower than feels natural.

Your spot in the running order

Speaking after:
Roughly when:
Who hands you the mic:
Your time:

Free speech check, worksheet and timing at toastdoctor.com

Why Planners Hand This Out

Most speeches that go wrong go wrong the same way: too long, a story that needs a backstory, a phone that dims halfway through. Speakers rarely get told the basics, because nobody wants to be the one to say it. A card from the planner or the venue says it for everyone, kindly, before the day, and the box at the bottom tells each speaker exactly when they are on.

It pairs with the speech order planner, which builds the running order, the emcee’s introductions and a sheet for the DJ. Speakers who want more help can use the one-page worksheet for their role or the free speech check.

Questions

Can I put my business name on it?

Yes, that's what it's for. Type your business name and website in the boxes above the card, then print it or save it as a PDF. Your name goes in the top corner. Nothing is uploaded or saved.

Is it free to use with clients?

Yes. Print as many as you like, put the PDF in your client portal or welcome packet, or email it to couples to pass on to their speakers. No signup and no fee. Please keep the small toastdoctor.com line at the bottom.

Who should get a copy?

Everyone who will hold the microphone: the best man, the maid of honor, parents who are speaking, and the couple if they are giving a thank-you. The box at the bottom is for each speaker's spot in the running order, so it helps to fill that in before you hand it over.

Where do the lengths come from?

A wedding pace of about 130 words a minute, and the ranges in our guide to how long a wedding speech should be. Most rooms stay with a speaker for three or four minutes. The whole block of speeches works best under twenty minutes.