Speech Remix
Your wedding speech, as told by a pirate.
Or a sports announcer, a hushed nature narrator, a noir detective, a medieval herald, or someone doing their best Elizabethan verse. Paste your speech, pick a voice, and get back a short remix with your names, your stories and your toast, all in costume. It’s for sending to the group chat, not for reading at the wedding. Free.
Remix your speech
An example
A short best man speech, before and after the pirate
We wrote this one by hand to show what a remix does. Same people, same stories, same order, same toast. Only the voice changes.
The original
Good evening, everyone. For those who don't know me, I'm Tom, and I've been Dan's best friend since we were eleven and both got cut from the school soccer team on the same day.
Dan has always been a planner. When we drove to the coast in college, he made a spreadsheet for the trip. It had a tab for snacks.
Then he met Maya, and for the first time in his life, Dan didn't have a plan. He just knew. He called me after their second date and said, "I think this is it," and then he hung up, because he had to go buy a second umbrella so she'd never have to share his.
Maya, thank you for making my friend this happy. He's the most loyal person I know, and now he's yours. Everyone, please raise your glasses. To Dan and Maya.
Remixed by the Pirate captain
The Ballad of Dan and Maya, as Told by a Pirate
Ahoy, ye fine guests, and fill yer cups. I be Tom, first mate to Dan since we were eleven years old, the day the two of us were cast off the school soccer crew together. Been sailin' side by side ever since.
Now, Dan be a man who charts his course. When we set sail for the coast in our college days, he drew up a map for the voyage. A spreadsheet, mateys. With a whole tab for provisions. Snacks, he called 'em. A true navigator.
Then one fair morning he spied Maya on the horizon, and for the first time in all his years at sea, Dan had no chart at all. He just knew. After their second meeting he sent word to me: "I think this be it." Then he cut the line short, for he had to go and claim a second umbrella, so she'd never have to share his in a squall.
Maya, ye've made me old shipmate happier than a gull with a whole basket of chips. He be the most loyal hand I've ever sailed with, and now he sails with you.
So raise yer cups high, the lot of ye! To Dan and Maya!
How it works
The remix keeps what makes your speech yours: the couple’s names, the stories you tell, the order you tell them in, and the toast at the end. Then it condenses everything to a minute or two of reading and hands it to a character. It won’t make up new stories about anyone, and it keeps things affectionate, so it’s safe to send to the couple.
The voices are stock characters, not impressions of anyone real. Your speech and the remix are kept on an unlisted page for seven days and then deleted.
If you’d like the real version to land as well as the pirate one, the free check gives you an honest read line by line, and The Room shows how a table of wedding guests will hear it.