Father of the Groom Speech, Given Together (Heartfelt, 3.5 Minutes)

The speech

Dashiell: Good evening. I'm Dashiell, Benedikt's father, and this is Esperanza, his mother. We're doing this together because in thirty years we have never once agreed on how a story about Benedikt goes, and we decided you should hear both versions.

Esperanza: Benedikt talked late. He didn't say a word until he was almost three. The pediatrician told us not to worry, and Dashiell didn't, and I did, every day, for a year. Then one morning in the car, at the corner of Fourth and Maple, in a full sentence, he said, "The light is green, Mom." I was so startled I didn't go. He said it again.

Dashiell: He walked the same way. He stood holding the edge of the coffee table for two solid months, every single day, and would not let go. Esperanza thought something was wrong. I thought he was building a case. Then one Saturday in April he let go, crossed the living room, and climbed the stairs. All of them. We hadn't put the gate up, because he'd never walked.

Esperanza: That is our son. He waits until he is sure, and then he does the whole thing at once. He did it with the trumpet, which he didn't touch for a year and then played at the state finals. He did it with Chicago, where he moved on a Tuesday with one suitcase and a job he'd been quietly interviewing for since Christmas. He never told us he was thinking about it. He told us when it was done.

Dashiell: So three weeks after he met Adaline, when he called from the airport in Denver and said he was sure, I did what a father does. I asked if he'd thought it through. There was a pause. Then he said, "Dad. I'm the one who stood at the coffee table for two months. I know what sure feels like." I did not have a follow-up question.

Esperanza: Adaline, the first night you came to our house, you played cribbage with Dashiell at our kitchen table, and you beat him. He has played at that table since 1979. Nobody beats him at that table. You did it on your first try, you didn't gloat, and you asked him to show you the hand he'd have played instead. That's when I knew.

Dashiell: I was fine about it.

Esperanza: He was not fine about it. He asked for a rematch the next morning before coffee. He lost that one too.

Dashiell: Adaline, you are the first person who has ever made our son hurry, and he's a better man moving at your speed. Thank you for not making him wait at the coffee table. And to your parents, Ingram and Yolanda, thank you for raising someone who plays the hand she's dealt and then explains it kindly to the loser.

Esperanza: Everybody, glasses up.

Dashiell: To Benedikt and Adaline. The light is green.

Why it works: The two voices disagree just enough to feel real, and the story about a boy who waits until he is sure pays off when he does not wait for the bride. The toast is the first sentence he ever said.