Father of the Groom Speech: What to Say (With 3 Examples)

The short version: a father of the groom speech runs two to three minutes, welcomes the other family by name, says one real thing about your son, welcomes the person he is marrying as family, and ends with a toast. Traditionally you give it at the rehearsal dinner, which you host. Three full speeches are below, for the rehearsal dinner and the reception. The shape is close to the father of the bride speech, but the emphasis is different. Yours is the speech that tells the other family, out loud and in front of everyone, that they are welcome.

Fathers of the groom tend to end up in one of two ditches. The first is the roast: three minutes of jokes about his haircuts and his first car, because jokes are how a lot of fathers and sons talk. The second is the receiving line: a formal welcome, every happiness to the couple, and not one sentence that sounds like you know your son. Both are safe. Neither tells the room anything. The speech that works has one laugh at most and one sentence you would not normally say to his face.

What the speech has to do

1. Welcome the other family. By name, warmly, early. This job belongs to the father of the groom more than to anyone else.
2. Say one real thing about your son. A memory or quality that shows who he is. Not a joke and not a resume.
3. Welcome his partner. Directly, by name, with something you have actually seen.
4. Raise a glass.

If you are hosting, a sentence of welcome to the guests goes first. If his mother is speaking with you, split the parts instead of trading lines: one of you takes the welcome and the other family, the other takes your son and his partner.

Rehearsal dinner or reception

The rehearsal dinner. The groom's parents traditionally host it, and the father opens the toasts. More toasts follow yours, and whatever length you go, the college roommate will go too. Three minutes at most.

If the rehearsal dinner is your only speech of the weekend, it is your wedding speech, and it can carry one short story about your son. If you are also speaking at the reception, keep tonight to a minute or two, a welcome and a few lines, and save the story for tomorrow. The rehearsal dinner toast guide covers that shorter version and who else speaks that night.

The reception. The father of the groom is not in the traditional reception lineup, but plenty of couples now ask him, especially when the groom's family is co-hosting. You usually speak right after the bride's parents, so the guests have already been welcomed and thanked. Do not do it again. Say who you are, give the other family a sentence, and get to your son. Two minutes.

The structure

About two and a half minutes, or roughly 340 words at a wedding pace. For the reception, trim the open to one line and the story to forty seconds. How long a wedding speech should be has word counts for every role.

1. The open (20 seconds)

At the rehearsal dinner, welcome the room and thank the travelers in one sentence. At the reception, just your name and your son's.

"Good evening. I'm Victor, Eli's dad. Joanne and I are glad you're all here, including the ones who came straight from the airport and still have the luggage tags on."

2. The other family (25 seconds)

Name them. Thank them for raising the person your son is marrying. Mention something real you have shared, even if it is small. If you have only met twice, say so. Honesty reads as warmth, and "we welcome the Smith family" reads as a form letter.

"Ruth and Sam, we've had exactly two dinners together, and I'm already angling for a third. Thank you for Nadia, and for treating Eli like he'd always been around. We're proud to be family with you."

3. Your son (60 seconds)

The hard part. Pick one memory that still describes him, tell it with detail, then say in a sentence what you think of him.

"When Eli was fifteen, he got a job washing dishes at a diner on Route 9. First week, the owner called the house. I assumed the worst. She was calling to ask if we knew he'd stayed late every night to reorganize her walk-in cooler, on his own time, because it was bothering him. We didn't. He never mentioned it. He still doesn't mention things like that."

4. His partner (40 seconds)

Turn to them. Use their name. Say what you have seen, then say they are family. "Welcome to the family" alone is a greeting card. One concrete detail in front of it makes it a welcome.

"Nadia, the first time Eli brought you home, you beat me at cribbage, twice, and then asked me to explain the one rule you'd been faking. Nobody in this family admits they don't know something. You did it in the first hour. You're family."

5. The toast (15 seconds)

Ask everyone to raise a glass. Both names. One line. Sit down. How to end a wedding speech has toast lines by role.

Too jokey, too formal: getting your son right

• One laugh, and it turns. "He took three tries to pass his driving test" is a jab. "He took three tries to pass his driving test, and he was back at the DMV the next morning every time" is a tease that ends with him looking good. Every joke about your son should land somewhere kind.
• Know where the line is. His haircuts, his cars, his cooking: fine. His exes, money trouble, drinking, the year he dropped out, anything that really hurt at the time: no. The test: would he tell this story about himself, tonight, in front of his partner's grandmother.
• Say the plain sentence. Plenty of men have never said "I'm proud of you" to their son out loud. A wedding is the one room where nobody will find it strange. Write it on your card so you cannot skip it.
• Replace one formal sentence with a true one. "We wish the happy couple every happiness" could be said by anyone in the room. "He fixes his grandmother's gutters every fall and has never told us" could only be said by you.
• No advice. The father of the groom is the speaker most likely to slide into a marriage lecture, usually ending in "two words, son: yes, dear." Everyone has heard it.

What to skip

• Thanks the room already heard. At the reception, one line for the other family, then move.
• Anything about money. Who paid for the dinner, the wedding, or the bar. Either side.
• The warden jokes. "Ball and chain," "his life is over," "finally someone to keep him in line." They are old, and they are unkind to both of them.
• His exes, or any comparison. None.
• The family name speech. A sentence about what your family means is fine. The history of the name since 1890 is not.

Three full father of the groom speeches

Names are placeholders. Borrow the shape, not the sentences.

Example 1: Rehearsal dinner, hosting, his only speech of the weekend (about three minutes)

Good evening, everyone. I'm Luis, Mateo's father. Rosa and I are so glad you're here. Some of you drove nine hours today, and one of you did it with my mother in the passenger seat, so you've earned this dinner.

Nora and Patrick. We met a year and a half ago at a restaurant so loud none of us heard a word, and we've been making up for it since. Thank you for Claire. And thank you for the way you took in our son, who I know showed up at your house the first time with flowers from a gas station. He has learned. We're proud to be family with you.

Now, Mateo. When he was twelve, he decided to build a skateboard ramp in our backyard out of shipping pallets. I told him it would fall apart. It fell apart. He built it again. That one fell apart too, more slowly. The third one lasted a week. The fourth one is still in the yard. It is fourteen years old, Rosa would like it gone, and I can't do it.

That's Mateo. He doesn't build things to prove anybody wrong. He builds them because he decided to, and then he stays with them until they hold. His work. His friends. This family. Son, I don't say this enough, and I've never said it into a microphone, so here it is. I'm proud of you. I have been for a long time.

Claire. The first time Mateo brought you to Thanksgiving, you sat next to my father for two hours. He speaks mostly Spanish, and he isn't a talker in any language. Afterward he told me you'd been practicing on your phone for months so you could talk to him. Nobody asked you to. He brings it up every time I call. You're family. You were family that night.

Tomorrow starts early, and we want you all rested for it. So please raise your glasses. To Mateo and Claire. May everything you build together hold.

Why it works: the other family gets real time before the son does. One story with a point, then the plain sentence most fathers skip. The partner gets something only this father could know, and the toast echoes the story.

Example 2: The reception, after the other family's welcome (about two minutes)

Hi, everyone. I'm Dennis, Aaron's dad. Jamal's mother has already welcomed you all better than I could, so I'll just say this. Yvonne and Curtis, thank you for having us, and thank you for Jamal. Our family got bigger this year, and a lot better at dancing.

When Aaron was seven, his mother and I were putting together a crib for his little sister. I had the screwdriver, his mother had the opinions, and Aaron was sitting on the floor reading the instruction booklet out loud. Neither of us listened. We finished with three screws left over, and about an hour later the crib folded up like a lawn chair. Aaron didn't say I told you so. He just handed me the booklet, open to page four.

He's been reading the manual ever since. On cars, on tax forms, on people. He figures out how things work, and how the people around him work, and then he quietly makes everything easier. I've leaned on that more than he knows. Aaron, I'm proud of you. I should have said it more often without a microphone.

Jamal, you are the first thing I have ever seen my son not need a manual for. Since the first weekend you two came up to the lake, he's been easier in his own skin. Louder, too. He laughs at his own jokes now, which is your fault, and we love you for it. Welcome to the family. We're short on instructions and long on leftover screws.

Please raise your glasses. To Aaron and Jamal. No instructions required.

Why it works: it skips the welcome the room already heard. The only person teased in the story is the speaker. The partner gets a specific observation and a callback, and the toast is short enough to repeat.

Example 3: Rehearsal dinner, a father whose wife has passed (about two and a half minutes)

Good evening. I'm Chidi, Daniel's father. Thank you all for coming tonight, and especially the Chen family, who flew in from Vancouver this morning and have been very gracious about a dinner that started forty minutes late. That was me.

Helen and David, we've known each other two years, mostly over video calls with a bad connection, and I think we've already agreed on everything that matters. Mainly that our children are wonderful and occasionally impossible. Thank you for raising Mei. It is a privilege to be family with you.

Daniel's mother, Grace, should be at this table. She'd have redone the seating chart by now, and she'd have been right. She would have loved tonight. I'm going to keep going, because she'd also want me to keep this short.

When Daniel was ten, he put a baseball through Mr. Kowalski's front window. Every other boy on our street ran. Daniel walked up the steps and knocked on the door, holding an envelope with eleven dollars in it, which was everything he had, and told Mr. Kowalski exactly what happened. Mr. Kowalski kept the envelope. Twelve years later he came to Daniel's college graduation and handed it back, still sealed.

That's my son. He owns what's his, the good things and the broken windows. It has made him the person everybody trusts, and occasionally a hard person to win an argument against. Daniel, I'm proud of you. Your mother was too.

Mei, the night Daniel told me about you, he didn't warm up to it. He called and said, "Dad, I've met the person I'm going to marry." No small talk. Same boy, same front steps. Then I met you, and I understood. You make him laugh, you tell him when he's wrong, and he listens, which I never managed. You're family. You have been for a while.

Please raise your glasses. To Daniel and Mei. May you always knock on the door.

Why it works: the groom's mother is named early, with one true detail, and the speech carries on instead of stopping there. The story shows the son's character in a single scene, and the partner section calls back to it. The toast stays on the couple.

If the family is not simple

• If you and his mother are divorced. Agree in advance who hosts and who speaks, and if she is not speaking, thank her by name for raising him with you. Nothing about the marriage that ended belongs in this speech.
• If his mother has passed. Say her name once, early, with one true detail. A short line later is fine if it lands naturally, as in Example 3. Do not build the speech around the loss.
• If you are his stepfather. Say who you are in one sentence, then talk about him. Nobody needs the family tree.
• If your son is marrying a man, or your child is not a groom at all. Same shape. Use the names and words the couple uses for themselves, and give the partner the same specific welcome.
• If the other family is hosting the rehearsal dinner. Then you are a guest that night. A one-minute thank-you to the hosts, and save the real speech for the reception.

Delivering it

• Cards in large print. Fathers like to speak from memory, and then get caught off guard by their son's face. Have the words in front of you.
• Find your line. For many fathers of the groom, it is "I'm proud of you." Know it is coming and breathe before it.
• Look where the words go. The other family for part two, your son for part three, his partner for part four.
• Stand up, even at a small dinner. It tells the room the toasts have started.
• Slow down, and one drink before, not three. A pace check shows where you rush. You are the host. You will be remembered.
• If you are running the rehearsal dinner toasts, introduce the next speaker by name after your toast and sit down. At the reception, the emcee does that.

If the bride's father is speaking too, send him the father of the bride guide so your speeches do not overlap. Wedding speech order shows where the groom's parents fit at the reception, and the rehearsal dinner toast guide has short examples for everyone else who stands up that night. When your draft is done, The Room shows how six wedding guests react to it, line by line.