Thanksgiving · Family member · Funny · about a minute
Funny Thanksgiving Toast From a Teenager (About 1 Minute)
A teenager who was volunteered for the toast by a parent at the last minute, at a family Thanksgiving with grandparents, and who had spent the afternoon fixing everyone's devices.
Given by Wren, 15, the youngest at the grown-up table. 127 words. The names are made up.
The toast
Hi. For the record, I did not volunteer for this. Mom said the youngest person old enough to hold a real glass gives the toast, and then everybody turned and looked at me.
So, quickly. Today I reset the Wi-Fi twice. I got the TV off the screen that just says "No Signal." And I showed Grandpa how to make his phone stop reading his texts out loud, because the whole kitchen could hear them. They were all to me. Asking where I was. I was in the next room.
Honestly, though, it's kind of nice being the person everybody needs for a day. Usually I just get asked about school.
So raise your glass, or your cider. To everybody at this table, and to the Wi-Fi.
Why it works: The teen makes the joke about their own job for the day, so nobody gets embarrassed, and the grandpa bit is affectionate because the punchline is that he only wanted to know where his grandkid was. The sincere line is short and a little awkward, which is exactly how a fifteen-year-old would say it.
Make it yours
Borrow the shape, not the lines. Put your own people, your own year and your own detail in each spot, or answer a few questions and get a first draft built from them.