New Year's Eve · The host · Warm · about a minute
New Year's Toast for Your First Year With a Baby (1 Minute)
A couple with a nine-month-old couldn't go out for New Year's, so they asked a few close friends over instead and wanted to thank them for trading a real party for a quiet one.
Given by Omid, a new dad hosting at home. 124 words. The names are made up.
The toast
Thank you for coming to the quietest New Year's party in the neighborhood.
A year ago we'd have been out until two. Tonight there's a nine-month-old asleep down the hall, and every light in this house is on a dimmer, turned down to about a third. That's why this looks like a candlelit dinner party and not two very tired people in sweatpants. It's both.
You all came to us anyway. You texted from the porch instead of knocking. Britt brought a cake with no candles, so the smoke alarm wouldn't go off.
This was the dimmest year of my life, and the best one. Glasses up, quietly. To Adaku, who won't make it to midnight, and to all of you, who came anyway.
Why it works: The dimmed lights are the first thing every guest noticed walking in, so the joke about sweatpants lands without setup. It pokes fun at the new parents, not the baby, and the last turn says the quiet year was a good one in a single sentence.
Make it yours
Borrow the shape, not the lines. Put your own people, your own year and your own detail in each spot, or answer a few questions and get a first draft built from them.