Office holiday party · A coworker · Funny · about a minute
Funny Office Holiday Party Toast From a Coworker (1 Minute)
A coworker asked to give a quick toast at the office party, who wanted a real laugh without embarrassing anyone and checked with both colleagues first.
Given by Marty, from accounts payable. 133 words. The names are made up.
The toast
Hi, everyone. I'm Marty from accounts payable. I was asked to give the toast because I'm the only person on our floor who isn't involved in the thermostat situation.
For those of you on other floors: since March, Lois has set the thermostat to seventy-four every morning, and every afternoon Kermit sets it back to sixty-eight. Neither of them has ever been seen doing it. Facilities has put three different covers on that thermostat. Lois and Kermit got past all three. Honestly, if those two ever worked together, they could get into anything.
But here's the thing. In November, when Kermit was out sick for a week, Lois kept it at sixty-eight. Every day. Out of respect.
So raise a glass. To Lois and Kermit, and to a building at a comfortable seventy-one.
Why it works: The joke is about a harmless habit the whole floor already knows, and both people are in on it. The turn in the middle flips the rivalry into a kindness, so the laugh ends warm, and the last line settles the fight for good.
Make it yours
Borrow the shape, not the lines. Put your own people, your own year and your own detail in each spot, or answer a few questions and get a first draft built from them.