Office holiday party · A coworker · Funny · about a minute
Funny Holiday Party Emcee Opening (About 1 Minute)
A coworker who volunteered to emcee the company holiday party and had to open the night with housekeeping: the food, the drinks without alcohol, the speeches, and the raffle.
Given by Arvid, from the warehouse, who volunteered to emcee. 138 words. The names are made up.
The toast
Good evening, everybody. I'm Arvid from the warehouse, and I volunteered to emcee tonight, which the committee tells me has never happened before.
A few things. The buffet is along the windows. The carving station closes at eight, and the man running it has a very large knife, so please respect his schedule. Soda, sparkling water, and a punch the committee describes as festive and alcohol-free are at the end of the bar.
Now, the important part. The orange ticket you got at coat check is also your raffle ticket. We did this to save paper. We have since realized that if you pick up your coat early, you're also handing back your shot at the air fryer. Raffle's at nine. Plan accordingly.
Glasses up, please. To the committee, and to the orange tickets. Hold on to them.
Why it works: Every joke carries a piece of housekeeping, so people laugh and also learn where the food is and when the raffle starts. The coat check ticket is a real logistics mistake the whole room is holding in their hands, and it becomes the reason to stay.
Make it yours
Borrow the shape, not the lines. Put your own people, your own year and your own detail in each spot, or answer a few questions and get a first draft built from them.