Office holiday party · A coworker · Funny · about a minute
Funny Virtual Holiday Party Toast From a Coworker (1 Minute)
A coworker asked to give the toast at a holiday party held on a video call, with some of the team dialed in from the office conference room and the rest at home, who wanted a laugh that didn't land on anybody.
Given by Gustavo, from the billing team. 138 words. The names are made up.
The toast
Hi, everybody. I'm Gustavo from billing. I was picked to give the toast because I'm the only person on this team who has never once been told I'm on mute.
I want to talk about the clock. You've all seen it. It's on the wall behind the camera in the big conference room, and it has said ten past four since February. Every standup. Every budget review. As far as that clock knows, we've spent the whole year in one very long meeting that started at ten past four.
Someone put in a ticket to fix it in March. Then someone else put in a ticket asking them not to.
And if it really was one meeting, it's the best one I've been in.
So grab whatever's on your desk. To the team, and to ten past four.
Why it works: The joke is on a broken clock every person on the team has stared at for a year, so the whole call gets it and nobody is the punchline. The turn makes the clock the team's own, and the last line gives everyone something to raise a mug to.
Make it yours
Borrow the shape, not the lines. Put your own people, your own year and your own detail in each spot, or answer a few questions and get a first draft built from them.