Wedding Vows for Two Grooms (1.5 Minutes)

The vows

Amir, we met on the Hawthorne Bridge in the rain, when my bike chain came off and you stopped. Nobody stops. You fixed it in about a minute, then wiped your hands on the only map I had. I was lost for the whole afternoon. I've been a little lost ever since, in the good way.

You're the calmest person I know. You read the last page of a book first so you won't worry. You remember every birthday in both our families, including my uncle Pete's, which I've forgotten for thirty years running.

I'll keep your bike tires pumped, since you never check them. I'll stop leaving my cycling shoes in the hallway where you trip on them every morning. I'll go to your sister's every Thanksgiving and eat the stuffing with the raisins in it, without making the face. I'll try to be calm the way you are, or at least fake it while you're driving.

And on the days that are hard for you, I'll do what you did on that bridge. I'll stop. I'll get my hands dirty. I'll stay until it's fixed.

You can wipe them on my map anytime.

Why it works: The meeting story is told as a scene, with weather and a map, so the room can see it. The middle promises are small and lightly funny, then the bridge comes back as the big promise. The final line about the map is a callback that also works as a joke.