Short Mother of the Groom Speech (About 2 Minutes)

The speech

Hi, everyone. I'm Cressida, Cosmo's mother. I have waited forty-seven years to give this speech, so I've had plenty of time to rehearse. If it sounds polished, that's why.

Cosmo has lived in the same apartment on Fulton for nineteen years. It is a nice apartment. For most of those nineteen years it had one chair. A good chair, leather, by the window. When I visited, he gave me the chair and sat on the radiator. When I suggested a second chair, he told me he'd get one when he needed one. I suggested it every Christmas. He has a very patient mother.

Two springs ago I went up for my birthday. I walked in, and there by the window was a second chair. It was green, a little worn, clearly from somebody else's apartment. I didn't say a word. I sat down in it. Cosmo looked at me and said, "That one's Evadne's." So I got up.

Evadne, I had been hearing about you for months by then, in the careful way Cosmo tells you things, a little at a time. The chair told me more. My son does not move furniture for just anyone. He made room for you, and he moved the lamp so you could read.

I've watched you make room for him too. You learned the names of his model trains. You go with him to Tuesday quiz night at the Anchor, where I'm told the two of you have never once won and don't mind.

You both took your time. I think you chose well.

Please raise a glass with me. To Cosmo and Evadne, and to the second chair.

Why it works: A single piece of furniture does the work of a whole biography, and the late marriage is treated with humor instead of apology. The toast lands on the same chair.