Christmas · A guest · Funny · about a minute
Funny Christmas Toast From a Guest (About 1 Minute)
A college friend who can't fly home for Christmas, spending his third year with a friend's family, wanted to thank them with a laugh instead of a long speech.
Given by Drew, a friend of the family. 133 words. The names are made up.
The toast
For anyone who doesn't know me, I'm Drew. I went to college with Ginny, I live too far away to fly home, and three years ago her parents adopted me for the holidays without asking.
This is the first year I got pajamas.
If you look at the photo on the mantel later, you'll see eleven people in matching red flannel. Ten of them fit. Mine say "cousin" across the back, they were ordered two sizes too small, and I've been told I'm not allowed to change until after the photo, which is apparently tomorrow morning.
I have never been so happy to have cold ankles. Thank you for making room for one more at this table, and on the mantel.
Everybody, glasses up. To the family pajamas, and to being a cousin.
Why it works: The joke is entirely on the speaker and his too-small pajamas, so nobody at the table gets teased. The word on the back of the pajamas becomes the thank-you, and the last line lands both at once.
Make it yours
Borrow the shape, not the lines. Put your own people, your own year and your own detail in each spot, or answer a few questions and get a first draft built from them.