Handfasting Wedding Ceremony Script for Two Grooms

Zev and Ilan walk down the aisle from opposite sides of the lawn at the same time and meet at the front, where Jada is waiting next to a small table with three cords laid out on it.

The music stops.

Please have a seat, everybody. Thank you.

Hi. I'm Jada. Ilan and I have been climbing partners for six years, which means I've held his rope more times than I can count, and today I get to hold a different one.

Thank you for being here. Zev and Ilan have been looking forward to seeing all of you in one place, and they're very aware that some of you flew in, some of you drove, and at least one of you took a ferry. They're glad you came.

Zev and Ilan met four summers ago, when a mutual friend lent them both a sailboat for the same weekend by accident. Neither of them really knew how to sail. Zev had taken one class. Ilan had watched a lot of videos.

They spent the first morning arguing politely over who had the boat. By lunch they'd decided to share it, mostly because neither of them could get it away from the dock alone.

Zev knew knots. That was the one thing the class had taught him. He spent most of that afternoon trying to teach Ilan a bowline, which is the knot you use to tie a boat to a post so it doesn't drift off. Ilan could not do it. He tried for two hours. Zev showed him the little rhyme about the rabbit coming out of the hole and going around the tree. Ilan still tied it backwards every time.

On Sunday evening, when they brought the boat back in, Ilan tied it up to the dock by himself. A perfect bowline. Zev asked him how he finally got it. Ilan said he'd been practicing on his shoelace in the bathroom all afternoon because he didn't want the weekend to end with him still getting it wrong.

They've been together since that Sunday.

What I've seen since is two people who keep practicing. Zev is the patient one. He'll explain a thing a dozen times without sighing. Ilan is the stubborn one, which is a good quality to have in a climbing partner and, it turns out, a pretty good quality in a husband. When Zev's mom moved in with them for six months last year while she sold her house, Ilan learned to make her cucumber salad the way she likes it, with too much dill. He didn't complain once. I checked.

Zev and Ilan have asked for a handfasting as part of their vows today. If you haven't seen one before, it's simple. While they make their promises, I'm going to lay cords across their joined hands and tie them together loosely.

You'll hear a lot of stories about where handfasting comes from, and people tell its history in different ways. I'm not going to pick one. What it means here is easy to see. Two people's hands, tied together for a moment, by the people who love them. It's a picture of what they're promising.

There are three cords on this table. The blue one is from Zev's grandmother's sewing box. His family sent it. The green one is a scrap of the rope Ilan's family uses to hang the hammock at their cabin every summer. And the third one, the gray one, is a piece of old dock line. Kasper, the friend who double-booked the sailboat, cut it off the boat last month and mailed it to them.

Kasper comes up and hands Jada the three cords. Zev and Ilan face each other and join their right hands, then their left.

Zev and Ilan have written their own vows. As each of them speaks, I'll lay down a cord. Zev, would you start.

Zev reads his vows. As he finishes, Jada lays the blue cord across their hands.

Ilan.

Ilan reads his vows. As he finishes, Jada lays the green cord across their hands.

This last cord is for the promise you're making together.

Zev: We'll keep practicing.

Ilan: We'll keep practicing.

Jada lays the gray dock line over the other two, wraps all three around their hands, and ties them in a loose bowline.

Look at that. It even holds.

There's a reason this knot is tied loosely. You're bound to each other, but you're not trapped. You can still move. You can still hold onto other things and other people. You just do it together now.

Jada slips the knot off their hands without untying it and sets it on the table.

The knot stays tied. Zev and Ilan are taking it home just like this.

Kasper hands Jada the rings.

Zev, place this ring on Ilan's finger and repeat after me.

Zev: Ilan, I give you this ring. I'm tied to you now, on purpose, and I'm not letting go.

Ilan, place this ring on Zev's finger and repeat after me.

Ilan: Zev, I give you this ring. I'm tied to you now, on purpose, and I'm not letting go.

Zev, do you take Ilan to be your husband, to be patient with him, to tell him the truth, and to stand by him for the rest of your life?

Zev: I do.

Ilan, do you take Zev to be your husband, to be patient with him, to tell him the truth, and to stand by him for the rest of your life?

Ilan: I do.

Zev and Ilan, you've made your promises, your hands have been tied, and you've exchanged rings in front of everyone here. By the power vested in me by [the State of ___], I pronounce you married.

You may kiss your husband.

They kiss.

Everyone, please stand and welcome the newly married Zev and Ilan.

The recessional music starts. Zev carries the tied cords back down the aisle.

Jada, Zev, Ilan, and two witnesses sign the license at the table where the cords were. Kasper is one of the witnesses.