Nurse Retirement Speech From a Coworker (Warm, 2 Minutes)

The toast

Good afternoon, everybody. I'm Ugo, the charge nurse on days, and for the last sixteen years I've had the luck of working this unit with Viola. They asked me to speak because I've been here the longest after her. I think they also figured I'd cry the least, and we'll see about that.

If you've worked a shift with Viola, you know about the lemon drops. She buys them by the bag from the store near her house, the same brand for as long as anyone here can remember, and there is always one in her pocket. The residents know. The cleaning crew knows. I once watched a surgeon with twenty years on me stop her in the hall and hold out his hand without a word, like a kid at a bank counter.

New nurses come to this unit, notice the candies in their first week, and decide it's a cute habit. Then they work a night with her.

Here's what the candies were for. When a patient was scared, or worn out, or just tired of being in here, she'd sit on the edge of the bed, which we're not supposed to do, and offer one. And she'd stay until it was gone. Five minutes, maybe. She found five minutes on shifts where none of the rest of us could find one.

Viola, I bought a bag this morning. It's in the break room, and it's going to stay stocked, because you taught us that the five minutes are part of the job.

Everybody, raise whatever you've got. Coffee counts. To Viola, and to the lemon drops.

Why it works: The lemon drops are a running joke the whole unit shares, so the first half gets easy laughs. Then the candies turn the joke into the real point, the five minutes she found for patients, and the toast hands that habit to the people staying.