South African Wedding Toasts: Cheers, Speeches, and Customs

Who speaks, and when

• At a traditional wedding, the elders of both families speak, and the ceremony includes the formal handing over of the bride to the groom's family.
• At the white wedding, a master of ceremonies runs the program, parents speak, and the best man and maid of honor give speeches in the British or American style.
• The program can be long, and a good MC is a point of pride.

How long

Three to five minutes for the wedding party. Elders' addresses can run longer. The dancing, with ululation from the women, is the celebration.

What you’ll see

• Lobola: the groom's family negotiates a bride price with the bride's family, traditionally in cattle, now often in money, over several meetings.
• Umabo: the traditional ceremony where the bride is welcomed into the groom's family with gifts and the slaughter of a cow or goat.
• Two weddings: the traditional ceremony and the white wedding, often weeks apart, with different dress for each.
• Ululation, the high trilling cry from the women, greets the couple and good speeches.
• At Afrikaans weddings, 'gesondheid' is the toast, and the braai, the barbecue, may be the feast.

If you’re the guest from somewhere else

• Ask which ceremony you are invited to and what to wear. Traditional dress is often expected at the traditional wedding.
• 'Halala' is the cheer at a Zulu or Xhosa wedding; 'gesondheid' at an Afrikaans one; 'cheers' works everywhere.
• If you speak, keep it short and warm. The MC has a schedule.

A toast you could give

Short, warm, specific to the couple, and ending on the phrase. Swap in your own names and your own detail; the shape is what matters.

Thandi has the loudest laugh in Johannesburg and uses it on all my worst jokes, which is why I keep making them. Sipho, you will laugh every day. Halala! To both of you.