British Wedding Toasts: Cheers, Speeches, and Customs

Who speaks, and when

• The father of the bride opens: welcomes the guests, speaks about his daughter, welcomes the groom, toasts the couple.
• The groom replies: thanks the father, both families, the guests, and the wedding party, speaks about his wife, and toasts the bridesmaids.
• The best man replies on behalf of the bridesmaids, tells the story, roasts gently, reads any messages, and toasts the couple. The maid of honor now often speaks too, usually after the groom.

How long

Three to five minutes each. The best man's is the one people wait for and the one most likely to run long. Speeches usually come after the wedding breakfast, which is the meal, whatever the hour.

What you’ll see

• The best man traditionally reads out cards and messages from guests who could not come. Keep it to a few.
• A toastmaster in a red coat may announce speakers at formal weddings. Elsewhere it is the best man or a DJ.
• 'To the bride and groom' is said by the speaker and repeated by the whole room, glasses raised.
• Speeches sometimes come before the meal now, so nervous speakers can eat.
• The best man is expected to be funny. The father and groom are expected to be sincere. The maid of honor can be either.

If you’re the guest from somewhere else

• If you are not in the lineup, you are not expected to speak, and standing up unasked is unusual.
• The order matters: do not thank people the groom will thank, and do not tell the story the best man has.
• Keep it to five minutes. The room has heard a best man go for fifteen, and they remember it.

A toast you could give

Short, warm, specific to the couple, and ending on the phrase. Swap in your own names and your own detail; the shape is what matters.

I have known Tom since school, and I have been told to keep this short, so: he is the kindest person I know, and Sophie is the only one who has ever made him be on time. Ladies and gentlemen, please stand. To the bride and groom!