Father of the Bride Speech: The Garage Door (Funny, About 4 Minutes)

The speech

Good evening, everyone. I'm Ferdinand, Romilly's dad. On behalf of Leontine and me, welcome. I was told by three separate people that I am not allowed to make a joke about what tonight cost, so I'll only say that the florist and I are now on a first-name basis, and move on. That was the one. It's out of my system.

I want to tell you about the garage door.

In the summer of 2011, Romilly was fourteen. Leontine and I went to her sister's for a weekend and left Romilly with her grandmother, who was seventy-eight and napped a lot, which Romilly had factored in. When we pulled into the driveway on Sunday night, the garage door was orange. Not a little orange. The color on the can was called Tuscan Sunset, and the can was sitting on the step, empty, next to a roller and a note.

I want to be fair to her here. It was a good job. The edges were taped. Two coats. She had moved both cars. The note said, "You'll get used to it." Signed, with love, Romilly.

I stood in that driveway for a long time. Leontine went inside. Our neighbor Wilhelm came out, looked at the door, looked at me, and went back in without a word, which I have always appreciated.

Here is the thing. We did get used to it. It's still orange. Fifteen years later, people give directions to our house by it. And somewhere in that first week I understood something about my daughter that has held up ever since. She decides, she does the work properly, and then she waits, very patiently, for the rest of us to catch up.

She did it with the door. She did it when she switched majors in her second year and told us after the paperwork was in. She did it with the dog, who was supposed to be fostered for two weeks and is now nine. She is almost always right, which is the irritating part.

So when she brought Baptiste home for the first time, in the fall of 2022, I was watching for one thing. He got out of the car, looked at the garage, and said, "I like the door." He wasn't being polite. He asked what the color was called. He has since bought a lamp in it.

Baptiste, I have watched you for three years now, and what I have seen is a man who does not try to slow her down and does not get left behind either. You keep up. You ask the right questions. When she decided last spring to redo the kitchen herself, you were the one who quietly checked the plumbing first, and I would like to thank you for that on behalf of the whole house. You are family now. The door is orange, the dog is staying, and we are very glad to have you.

Romilly, you were right about the door. You were right about him, too. I'm saying so in front of two hundred people so it counts.

Everybody, please stand and raise a glass. To Romilly and Baptiste. You'll get used to it.

Why it works: The bill joke is used and retired in the first paragraph, so the real story gets the room. The garage door shows who the bride is, the groom's first line about it does the welcome, and the toast calls the note back.