Russian Wedding Toasts: Cheers, Speeches, and Customs

Who speaks, and when

• A tamada, a professional or semi-professional toastmaster, runs the reception, calls each speaker, runs games, and keeps the energy up for hours.
• Parents toast first. Then witnesses, relatives, and friends, in the tamada's order. Nearly everyone is expected to say something.
• Each toast ends with a glass raised and, often, the room shouting 'Gorko!'

How long

A toast is one to two minutes, but there are dozens. The tamada decides the pace and will cut a long one short with a joke.

What you’ll see

• 'Gorko!' means bitter: the drink is bitter, and only the couple's kiss can sweeten it. The room counts the seconds of the kiss out loud.
• The tamada runs contests, games, and dances between courses, sometimes for hours.
• Bread and salt greet the couple at the reception, and whoever bites the bigger piece is said to be head of the household.
• The bride is 'ransomed' from her family in the morning, with the groom and friends paying in games, money, or sweets to reach her.
• The second day of the wedding is common, with a smaller group and more toasts.

If you’re the guest from somewhere else

• Expect to be called on. Have one sentence ready, and end it with 'za molodykh.'
• Join the 'Gorko' chant. Counting is encouraged.
• The toasts come with drinks. Sip, do not match the table.

A toast you could give

Short, warm, specific to the couple, and ending on the phrase. Swap in your own names and your own detail; the shape is what matters.

Natasha is the reason I learned any Russian at all, and the reason I still get it wrong. Dima, she will correct you kindly, as she corrects me. To Natasha and Dima. Za molodykh! And now, I believe, gorko!