Italian Wedding Toasts: Cheers, Speeches, and Customs

Who speaks, and when

• The testimoni, the witnesses who stand up for the couple, sometimes say a few words, but there is no tradition of a long best man speech.
• Parents may raise a glass. Friends more often perform: a song, a video, a joke gift presented at the table.
• The couple thanks the room, briefly, often while cutting the cake late in the night.

How long

Short. A toast is a sentence and a raised glass. Anything over two minutes is unusual, and the meal, which can run five hours, is the main event.

What you’ll see

• At some point a table will start chanting 'Bacio! Bacio!' (kiss, kiss) and the couple kisses. It will happen more than once.
• 'Evviva gli sposi' is shouted by the whole room, often led by one loud uncle, between courses and after the cake.
• Confetti means sugared almonds, usually five, given to every guest in a small bag: health, wealth, happiness, fertility, and a long life.
• The cake comes very late, sometimes after midnight, and the toast with it is the closest thing to a formal moment.
• In the south, the bride and groom may go table to table with the bomboniere and a glass; a toast happens at each one.

If you’re the guest from somewhere else

• Pace yourself. The antipasti are not the meal.
• If you are asked to say something, one warm sentence and 'Evviva gli sposi' is exactly right. A four-minute speech would surprise the room.
• Dress up. Italian weddings are formal in a way that can catch visitors out.

A toast you could give

Short, warm, specific to the couple, and ending on the phrase. Swap in your own names and your own detail; the shape is what matters.

I have known Marco since we were students, and I have never seen him as happy as he has been since Giulia. To the two of them, and to a long life together. Evviva gli sposi!