Chinese Wedding Toasts: Cheers, Speeches, and Customs

Who speaks, and when

• A master of ceremonies runs the banquet. Parents, a respected elder, and sometimes the couple's boss give short formal speeches of blessing.
• The best man and maid of honor rarely speak at length; their job is to shield the couple during the toasting and the games.
• The couple, with their parents, goes to every table to toast, and that round of toasts is the main spoken part of the night.

How long

A formal speech is two or three minutes and often read. The table toasts are a few words each, repeated at every table. A banquet can have a few dozen tables.

What you’ll see

• The tea ceremony: the couple kneels and serves tea to their parents and elders, who give red envelopes and gold jewelry in return.
• Red envelopes, hongbao, with money are the gift, and the amount is often a lucky number ending in eight.
• The couple changes outfits several times through the banquet, often including a red qipao.
• Door games in the morning: the groom and his groomsmen must pass tests and bribes set by the bridesmaids to reach the bride.
• 'Gānbēi' means empty the glass, and at the table toasts the groom's friends may drink in his place to protect him.

If you’re the guest from somewhere else

• Bring a red envelope, never white, with an even amount that avoids the number four.
• When the couple reaches your table, stand, raise your glass, and say 'gānbēi' or a blessing like 'bǎinián hǎohé.'
• Wear red or bright colors if you like; avoid white and black, which are for mourning.

A toast you could give

Short, warm, specific to the couple, and ending on the phrase. Swap in your own names and your own detail; the shape is what matters.

Mei has been correcting my chopsticks for ten years and has not given up, which is love. Wei, you are in patient hands. A hundred years of harmony to you both. Bǎinián hǎohé. Gānbēi!